Sunday 8 September 2013

Why Men Batter And Abuse Women

Sometimes, women are always afraid of strangers but does it occur to them that their husband, lover, boyfriend are likely to hurt them the most. Presently, two-thirds of violent attacks against housewives are committed by husbands and one of the most dangerous places for women is her own home. Approximately 1,500 women are killed each year by husbands or boyfriends.
To some experts, there is no good profile for men who batter their women. They believe that men who batter are seeking a sense of power and control over their partners or their own lives, or because they are tremendously dependent on the women and are threatened by any moves on her part toward independence, some batter because that’s the only way they know how to be close to or relate to a partner, some grew up in violent households, where they watched their mother being abused by their fathers and where they themselves were abused, while some become violent under the influence of drugs or alcohol, although the substance themselves do not cause the violence. Seriously, it could be a simple matter, for instance, if she failed to empty the lint from the filter in the clothes dryer; or maybe dinner wasn’t just right, or maybe she decided to go shopping with her best friend without telling her spouse about it beforehand. But, I want to say that not all men who batter are stupid beings sometimes they know what they do is wrong but choose to do it their way.
Below are some characteristic of abusers and batter:

-          The abuser/batter sees women as objects. He does not view women as people. He has no respect for women as a group. He sees women as property and sexual objects.
-          An abuser/batter has low self-esteem. He feels powerless and ineffective. Although he may appear to be successful, inside he feels inadequate.
-          An abuser/batterer finds external excuses for his behavior. He will blame his violence on having had a bad day, alcohol or drug use, his partner’s behavior or anything that comes to mind to excuse hs violence action.
-          He may be charming and pleasant between his acts of violence outsiders may view him as a nice guy.
-          An abuser/batterer may display some warning signs such as: a bad temper, cruelty to animals, extreme jealous, possessiveness verbal abuse and/or unpredictability. However, abusive behavior in this context is divided into 5 heads:-
  1. Verbal Abuse:- Like name calling, threatening, intimidating.
  1. Emotional Abuse:- constant criticizing, display of extreme jealousy, publicly humiliation, isolating the partner and domination.
  1. Financial Abuse:- controlling the money, concealing joint assets, keeping the other impoverished, using partner’s money without consent. These abuses though may be witnessed in an infant form in the initial stages but in later stages they might take an inhuman form.
  1. Physical Abuse:- pushing, slapping, hitting, kicking, choking, pulling hair, biting, using weapons, tying the partner up, locking the partner in a room with denial of food.
  1. Sexual Abuse:- raping, physically attacking sexual parts, forcing the partner to perform sexual acts.
We cannot shy away from the fact that women also put it too far sometime while some posse bad character like nagging, and non appreciative character. However, when we consider the above bad habits of women closer, we can see they are somehow terrible, but what men should know is that nobody is perfect, and partners should learn to compromise and be patient toward each other. Thus, leaving a relationship, no matter how abusive, is never easy because women who leave or abandon their homes often opt for living in poverty, that’s a very difficult choice to make. There are many social, cultural factors that contribute to encouraging women to stay a d try and make the situation work because men who batter are not 100 percent hateful, they can be loving and attentive partners at times as such you should think about the adverse effect of this on your children as they get traumatized by witnessing violence in their family. In adding, the long- term effects of witnessing such violence can create a cycle of violence that spans generations. We know that many men who are abusive witnessed their mothers being abused and many were victims of physical abuse themselves. We also know that women who came from a family in which they witnessed their mother being battered are more susceptible to developing what is called ‘battered women’s syndrome.” Thus, you should fashion out a way to sort things out and make up with your husband. But they do not provoke their husband’s abuse in reality.

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